Exclusive Studio Shotz

As requested, here are some ultra-exclusive shots INSIDE MY LEGENDARY STUDIO. Here, my assistant takes a break from his diligent work on a page from The Fun Family. My assistant is also a Bikram Yoga instructor, as is plainly obvious.

Horrors From The Sketchbook Dungeon #34

 

Horrors From the Sketchbook Dungeon #129

Hey, this one isn’t that horrific. That’s weird.

Horrors From The Sketchbook Dungeon #24

Sometimes I don't really even know what's going on in my sketchbook. I think I was watching Dune at the time?

Download the entire Ayn Rand’s Adventures Saga (NOW!)

It’s the one year anniversary of Ayn Rand’s Adventures in Wonderland, which some of you may remember as the graphic novel I serialized on Wonkette.com last summer. Finally now you can download the whole things as one seamless (sexy?) .pdf file.

Ayn Rand’s Adventures In Wonderland: The Complete Graphic Novel

Click to download

I hadn’t looked at it in some time, and I’m really happy with how well it’s held up as one continuous story. Please enjoy it, and share it if you are so inclined. Special thanks to Ken Layne, Josh Fruhlinger, Jack Steuf, Riley Waggaman, and everyone else at Wonkette for making Ayn’s Adventures possible.

Remembering Jeanne Bice: QVC Superstar

RIP, but still, don't believe in miracles

Something rather sad happened on Friday. Jeanne Bice died. Most of you probably don’t know much about Jeanne, because you don’t watch countless hours of QVC, where for many many years she consistently sold a self-styled brand of the silliest, most obviously terrible clothes on earth, called QUACKER FACTORY. It’s a testament to her as a saleswoman that she could sell such insane sequin-clad kitsch so consistently to people. She invented her own subculture, the Quackers, as they call themselves. They are defined as human beings by their love of Quacker Factory clothing as well as cruising. Quackers receive their power from the awkward compliments they receive based on their silly clothing. They also spend a lot of money on QVC, obviously.

As I’ve previously said, marketing is awful, and Jeanne must be counted among the throngs of humans who love to sell people stuff they don’t need. Still, Jeanne was such an entertaining, insane presensce on television, it was impossible not to enjoy her and her bizarre for-no-reason headband. She was the one human on QVC who never appeared overly plastic or rehearsed, she designed visionary clothing, and clearly didn’t care what other people thought of her. She will be missed. Sadly, QVC doesn’t even acknowledge her death on their front page. Jeanne was their greatest star, but clearly death doesn’t sell.

A Critical Exegesis of Tyler Perry’s ‘For Colored Girls’

I have seen pretty much every Tyler Perry movie and play, but I missed out on Madea’s Big Happy Family, and For Colored Girls. I had no one to go with, and when you go see a Tyler Perry movie you MUST have a date with a lady of some kind, or they will all think of you as a rotten homosexual, rapt by the comically muscled men with trapezius muscles that echo the angles of the great pyramids of Giza. But those men are objects, usually, so who cares? I do, because there is NOTHING WORSE than being gay. Luckily, I have a female visiting my house who likewise appreciates the Tyler Perry oeuvre of films and fine theatrical productions.

Advertising: the Power Of Positive, or Mitt Romney’s Gay Mattress Loves You

 Note: I know this is supposedly an “art blog,” but right now all the art I’m doing is pretty boring planning stuff for The Fun Family, so I’m just writing now, for fun.

Please don't believe in miracles, it's just a lie to sell you garbage!

Let’s get something straight. Advertisers do not care about you. Not at all. No matter how much they insist they care about you, they don’t. They are lying to you. Anytime an advertiser has ever made an emotional appeal to you, they are flat-out manipulating you. Never forget that.

You see, advertisers ONLY job, the ONLY thing they are paid to do, is trick you into buying stuff you don’t need. You may say, “well Benjamin, what about INFORMATION? Don’t advertisers provide valuable INFORMATION to consumers?” Haha, no. Information, facts, truths, are not the stuff of advertising. Think about it, what good is information when you only have 20 seconds or 200 words to sell your sweat-shop garbage to dumb people? Pretty much the only place to get real consumer information is Consumer Reports, which no one reads, sadly.

When was the last time you heard a CLEAN COAL® commercial relate a basic fact like: “Coal mining is a hugely destructive and costly practice that finances yachts for rich people while forcing those West Virginia poors to die of the black lung.” LOL never, because CLEAN COAL® is “ENERGY FOR TOMORROW,” or some other horrible, meaningless, manipulative slogan.

Dispatches From the VELVEETA® Nation

This stuff is LITERALLY rotten and still tastes better than VELVEETA®

Did you know that the Chinese HATE milk? As a culture, they just aren’t into the stuff, they would rather eat tofu that’s been submerged in rotting vegetable matter than take a sip from a cow’s teet. Culturally, this is due to a perception about milk being unclean (when you think about it, you ARE drinking the homemade PEDIALITE® of a cow’s mammary glands so maybe they are on to something). I do feel lucky though, because I was born into a culture that values milk, and by extension cheese. Cheese is surely one of the best things about western civilization, because it’s just cheese, and it can’t bomb anyone! It is just too bad we have a habit of pasteurizing all our dairy products.

Pasteurization is when you heat something, in this case milk, to a certain temperature to reduce the potential for pathogens which might prematurely sour the food and make people sick. It’s actually a very useful thing because it prevents many people from getting sick every year. Hooray public health! We can all drink as much NESQUIK® flavored milk product as we want and never worry about being infected by that killer e-coli stuff that 20/20 tells me about all the time, on television. You may have heard Europe is having one of these e-coli problems right now, which means it’s an excellent time for people to write opinions on the subject for the famous gossip blog site CNN.com. Alex B. Berezow, an actual scientist writes:

Benjamin Frisch Superstar

I did a short interview with WSAV in Savannah before commencement Saturday, I made it on the teevee! How can I parlay this into a reality television gig? I’m still waiting for someone to pick up my reality-dating show, Frisch Out Of Water, which would be about me learning about love and life on a yacht.