Remembering Jeanne Bice: QVC Superstar
Something rather sad happened on Friday. Jeanne Bice died. Most of you probably don’t know much about Jeanne, because you don’t watch countless hours of QVC, where for many many years she consistently sold a self-styled brand of the silliest, most obviously terrible clothes on earth, called QUACKER FACTORY. It’s a testament to her as a saleswoman that she could sell such insane sequin-clad kitsch so consistently to people. She invented her own subculture, the Quackers, as they call themselves. They are defined as human beings by their love of Quacker Factory clothing as well as cruising. Quackers receive their power from the awkward compliments they receive based on their silly clothing. They also spend a lot of money on QVC, obviously.
As I’ve previously said, marketing is awful, and Jeanne must be counted among the throngs of humans who love to sell people stuff they don’t need. Still, Jeanne was such an entertaining, insane presensce on television, it was impossible not to enjoy her and her bizarre for-no-reason headband. She was the one human on QVC who never appeared overly plastic or rehearsed, she designed visionary clothing, and clearly didn’t care what other people thought of her. She will be missed. Sadly, QVC doesn’t even acknowledge her death on their front page. Jeanne was their greatest star, but clearly death doesn’t sell.
On the Quacker Factory main page a eulogy appears, which reads as a strange edorsement of QVC from beyond the grave.
She loved QVC. Everything about it. She loved the people: the executives who ran it, and the production people who worked so hard to make every show perfect. She loved the famous stars who appeared there, and had to pinch herself when others considered her one.
She loved the hosts of her shows, her buyers and all the people who worked with her and for her to make Quacker Factory clothes a reality.
She was better than QVC. RIP Jeanne Bice.
July 20, 1939 — June 10, 2011